So apparently I blog now!

I don’t know what happened to make me decide to try this out. I’ve thought about it for ages and then suddenly last night it hit me that this is what I want to do. 2020 has given me a lot to think about. I’ve experienced loss and grief to an extent that I never have before, I’ve graduated from uni (woo!), and I’ve had to #stayathome just like the rest of the world. Staying home is a hard thing for me to do. Actually, scrap that. Staying home is easy for me, it was the going out that was hard. The only places we were allowed to go for months were all on our doorstep. We couldn’t jump in the car and have a day out, or go for a coffee at a garden centre; I couldn’t pretend that the thing I fear most in the world wasn’t living in a house just a few doors up from my own, or not walk around in fear that I would see familiar faces during my daily exercise. My life is complicated, to say the least.

I grew up in the most stable way you possibly could. I’ve lived in the same house all my life, with my Mum and my Dad, as well as my three older brothers and my older sister. Yeah, it was kinda chaotic most of the time, but it was happy and it was ‘normal’. I was smart, I had friends, I knew I wasn’t the prettiest or most popular, but I wasn’t ugly or an outcast either. It’s only been in the times when my parents couldn’t protect me from the world that I have become the Walking Tragedy that my friends have labelled me as today.

I laugh at my failures and cry at my successes, take photos of beautiful moments that most people would think are mundane, and gag at romance while being obsessed with rom-coms. And that’s what makes me so interesting. But you’ll find that out for yourself as we go along, and you watch me truly…

Begin Again.

-K xxx

Structure is my best friend

I am a girl who loves a structured life. Last week, my Mum asked me to put all of our herbs and spices back in the spice rack. I organised them alphabetically and forbade anyone from touching it. I do some colouring, and then put the pencils back in exactly the same order as they were in in their original packaging. My brother moves the pencils around and I can tell him what order they need to go back in without looking. I only upload to my Instagram in sets of three. If I don’t have three pictures to post, I will either purposefully take one, or not post any, but I will have the symmetry and the theme prepared before anything goes on to my account.

I can’t just randomly organise my blog; I want it to look pretty and uniform. Even if nobody reads any of my posts from here on out, it has to look aesthetically pleasing to me. So, I’m gonna use the fact that I have multiple mental health problems to my advantage here. I’m dedicating a month at a time to a different topic, and am going to tackle stigma, provide techniques, and use my experiences to help other people.

My point is, specific thought has gone into every aesthetic aspect of my life, and I will treasure and treat this blog in the same way. Right now, I’m planning on talking about eating disorders, PTSD, grief, depression, and anxiety. Let me know what you want me to start with, and if there are any specific subjects you want me to tackle. Although I love structure, I’m really open to new ideas for what direction I can take my creativity in.

-K xxx

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